GCSE Results Day 2019

After persevering through the long, tiring months of May and June, my GCSE exams came to an end on the 17th June 2019. After that, it just became a matter of patiently waiting to receive the results that I had worked extremely hard to achieve. As I mentioned in my previous post about my GCSE's, I worked tirelessly to achieve the success that I knew I was capable of, often pushing myself way beyond what was expected of me. I was fuelled by my own ambition, right up until the very last exam, hoping that I had done enough to exceed the targets that the school had personally set for me, as my own targets were a lot higher. I put a lot of pressure on myself, sometimes too much, but as I opened my results slip on the 22nd August, I knew it was more than worth it. In this post, I would like to share my results with you, my experience of the day, and all the things I now have planned for my future.

Before the day approached, I was naturally nervous, but almost content in the knowledge that no matter what the outcome of my results was, I knew I had worked my absolute hardest, and they would be a true reflection of that. I kept telling myself that they were now out of my hands; I couldn't change how I had performed, but to be honest, I didn't want to. My parents seemed more confident than me that I would get the grades I deserved; they weren't worried in the slightest. I seem to be a compulsive worrier. I was working the day before I got my results, which was a nice distraction, and I spent the rest of the evening relaxing on the sofa, whilst my parents went to see the new Tarantino film. I even slept well, almost as if my body knew that I needed a great amount of strength for the day ahead.

I woke up early, got ready, but avoided walking round to school. I wasn't explicitly nervous; I was just pent-up with anticipation. I had waited and worked for five years of my high school life for these results; five years that went so unbelievably quickly. I eventually walked to school, heart in my mouth, knowing my friends were there and had already opened their results. Now it was my turn. I always knew that I wanted to open my results on my own. It was the sort of achievement that seemed only fitting to open on my own. In my learning, my revision, and my dedication, I always stood on my own two feet; never giving up when it got tough, and always carrying on independently. Hands shaking, I sat outside, and opened my results. My eyes quickly skimmed across the sheet, no longer showing letters ranging from A to D, but now numbers from 9-1, with 9 being the highest you could get in the new system. I saw my results. I was gobsmacked. I was astonished. I was very emotional, in the best possible way. I slowly walked back into school, tears of happiness forming in my eyes and met my best friend, who looked as happy for me as I felt. It was all I ever wanted and more, and to say that I had done even better than I expected, was such an incredible feeling. My history teacher came up to me, noticing how emotional I was, and simply said: "Totally well deserved."

I got eight grade 9's. Eight! In the new grading system, a 9 is essentially higher than an A*, and was introduced as a way to separate students that are really excelling in a subject. My other two grades were an 8 (A*) and a 7 (A). Still, as I'm sitting here writing this today, I cannot express how pleased, and how happy I really am. If I'm being honest, I suppose I may have expected to get a 9 in English Literature and English Language, but in the other subjects, it was no more than a dream. A dream that had come true. I did end up getting two 9's in English, along with two in Science, one in Religious Studies, History, Geography and Music. I got an 8 in Maths, and a 7 in German. It still hasn't fully kicked in; I don't think it ever really will. As all my friends kept saying to me, my hard work really did pay off. So I was back in the main hall, trying to calm myself down, and learning what all my friends got. I was so proud of them all. They all had targets of their own, which they had met, and it was so pleasing to see how happy we all were at the work we had put in, and the results we had gotten out of it. It truly was the end of an era. I then spoke to my English teacher, who was just as pleased, if not more pleased than I was. I told him that to get two 9's in English was something I had wanted pretty much all of my life, and to actually get them, was incredible. He was such a fantastic teacher, and I will always remember his passion about the subject, and his enthusiasm, which made me even more ambitious to go forward with not only studying English, but this blog as well. Writing is my passion. My English grades are the ones that mean the most to me, and always will do. It took me around half an hour to compose myself, and really come to terms with some of my grades in the other subjects. An 8 (A*) in maths! This was without a doubt, the one that shocked me the most. I found the maths exams quite hard. Back in primary school, I really struggled with it, and when I got to high school, I was predicted a 5-6 (High C to a B) in my GCSE's. I pushed myself to the highest standard that I could in maths, trying my best to get the highest grade that I could. Never would I have predicted an 8. After getting a 7 in my mocks, I was more than content to walk away with another 7 at GCSE's, so my joy at my final result was simply pure elation. I think the thing that made me so shocked about maths, is the fact that I certainly wouldn't have got an 8 if I didn't put in the work that I did, as I was never particularly gifted at Maths.

I took Combined Science, which was worth 2 GCSE's. I quite enjoyed some areas of Science in high school, mostly Biology, and I was always quite good at it. When I was much younger, I always wanted to be a marine biologist, until I realised that my fear of large expanses of water would probably hinder me. The school tried to persuade me to take Triple Science, but because I had my heart set on taking Music, I decided to stick with combined. I got two 9's in Science...it's hard to express how I felt about that, without already repeating myself. Gobsmacked. Amazed. Elated. Proud. Yeah, I am proud. I probably have more pride in myself than happiness. It wasn't like I went into exams without doing any revision and got my grades purely off my intelligence; I worked so hard. I stuck by the phrase "with success comes hard work," and my results are true of that. My 9 in Religious Studies was clearly due to the essay that I did on Hitler and the origins of evil.... but a 9 in music..... My music grade was almost disbelieving to be honest. I wasn't exactly a genius on the piano. I was more like a Grade 4 pianist playing three Grade 5 pieces, which was hard work in itself. My ability to retain information, however, must have got me the score I did, and not to forget the insane composition I created, which I still intend to link on this blog at some point!

My parents waited patiently at home, and because I was with my friends for a while afterwards, I think they thought I had run off in disappointment! Nevertheless, they were really proud of everything I had achieved, but still not as proud as I was of myself. I continued to receive praise for my results throughout the day, as I made my way up to Blackpool Sixth Form to enrol. Over the past few months, I've had to decide between going to Blackpool, or Preston for my A-levels. Even though two of my best friends are going to Preston, my gut was pulling me towards Blackpool, mainly based on the fact that it felt more welcoming, the staff and students are always helpful, and they have their own college magazine and blog that I would love to take part in once I start. I found out on the day, that the magazine has won awards, and it will be great to put in my CV if I want to go to university. They took my photo for the lanyard, and I looked like I'd escaped from prison, but according to my Mum, no one looks good in those pictures...All my details and results were checked in, and then it was just a matter of the courses I would be taking. For a while now, I've had a clear view of the subjects I would like to take, although due to my results, it was quite easy to perhaps question my choices. I firstly chose A-Level Media Studies, a subject I wanted to take at GCSE level, but was no longer available at my school. Media Studies is the study of film, radio, television and journalism, in a way that analyses it's affect on people, and gives insight into the messages behind the production. It's very analytical, which is something I will thrive off, and the topic is very useful to my future career. On the other hand, it does have more of a creative aspect to it, which works well alongside my more academic subjects of English Language and Literature, both of which I am continuing into A-Level.

However, I had somewhat of a dilemma to contend with. I had wondered about taking four A-Levels. I thought I would be strong enough to deal with the content and the stress, but I began to wonder if it was actually worth it. Universities aren't bothered about four A-Levels. In fact, I had a chat with someone who said that it's a lot harder to get good results in all four, and much better to focus on just three. I was considering Music as a fourth option. My career is hopefully going to centre around music journalism, radio broadcasting and video directing, but I realised that I could potentially get into these areas of study without having music at a higher level. So for once, after a long chat, I did the sensible thing, took a step back, and stuck to doing three A-Levels. I think I know myself well enough by now to know that there is a possibility I could handle the stress, but at the end of the day, was it really worth it? Instead, I've been put on an Excellence Programme, based on my high obtaining results, which helps me get into the country's top universities. As part of the programme, I am able to conduct a research project, which ends in a 5000-word essay. No problems for me there; I will thoroughly enjoy doing it. I've decided to almost "fill two needs with one deed" by focusing the project on an area of musical study, and further developing my writing skills for future ventures in my career.

The entire day was emotionally exhausting, but I came out of it with results that I could only dream of, and a place in a fantastic college to continue in my chosen areas of study.

I think it's fair to say that I'm really looking forward to college and the content I will be learning, which I'm hoping already puts me in a strong position. (Even if I do have to get up at 6:30 to catch the bus in time) As for GCSE's, I think it's important to everyone, which includes students and schools, to understand that GCSE's are simply a stepping stone to another part of your life. The results do not define you, or your capabilities, and if you truly have your heart set on something, then that is something you should aim for. Many people around me would always question why I wouldn't take subjects such as maths, or history, since I was clearly capable, but my response was always "It's not what I WANT to do." I want to enjoy college, and I want to have fun too. I'm hoping I've learnt from the unnecessary stress that I put on myself during GCSE's, but I will always remember and be glad about the great amount of effort that I put in, and I intend to continue this into my higher education. And if anyone takes anything from this blog post, I believe if you truly want something, and you are willing to work at it, anything is possible. And this is only the beginning...!